You Bought Ikea. I Assemble it.

I am the Ikea Construction Specialist:
I have put together more of this furniture than anyone on the planet! Come on, you've tried it! Can you say "Nightmare"? You stand there with just the pictures of the pieces  oh, and that little man in the bubble with the phone in his hand (Just "in case" you need to call for help or psychiatric assistance.) Frustrating? Yes! But I will do it for you!